GRATITUDES

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/yesterday i was looking at all the bills coming in now that i am home and insurance is not picking up the tab anymore, and i was thinking of blogging about that today.  but then it occurred to me that my biggest debt right now is in the gratitudes department, so i decided to start making some installments along those lines.

of course i have to be ever so grateful to my wife, joanne, who has worked so hard for me in many, many ways.  i would say she has toiled tirelessly for me - but that is not exactly correct.  she has often worked herself to complete exhaustion, but kept on working hard for me anyway.  as i write she is sick, partly because of helping me so much with the physical chores now that i am back home.  being home has a great number of challenges.

she has also done a lot for me emotionally.  some time after i was out of the woods as far as acute problems were concerned, i told her that there were at least half a dozen possible complications that could have taken me out very quickly - and that i just didn't want to mention it at the time so not to worry and upset her.  she told me she knew all about them at the time and didn't mention them because she didn't want to worry and upset me.

i told joanne that it would have been better if something had of taken me out quickly - that way she could have just been done with me and then she could get on with the rest of her life.  she got great big tears in her eyes and sobbed 'but i don't want to be done with you'.  well that told me louder and clearer than ever before that this gal really loved me.  also, if she was committed to me like that then i had to commite back and work extra hard to recover as much as possible for her.  hence good motivation for me to get better.

joanne has often had it hard herself with injuries and physical rehab, so when she told me i would just have to suck up the pain and work through it and do more than i thought i could, i knew she was speaking from personal experience and not being heartless or not understanding how hard it is.  when she would watch me do pt in the hospital and tell me 'suck it up' or 'you can do more', it motivated me rather than make me mad because i had seen her do the exact same thing herself in pt - she was speaking from personal experience and not being shallow or critical of me.  i became like a child wanting to show off to her what i could do and getting praised for it.  i would be very happy and proud when she would tell people that i was working hard and very motivated.

joanne went to great lengths to be with me every minute she could in the hospitals and nursing home.  even though that was difficult, she said it was more difficult not being with me.

joanne had to initiate and stay on top of every little aspect of my care and progress because people in and out of the hospital/nursing home simply would not do their jobs.  this happened over and over again.  she would have to repeatedly call, fax, and confront people in person to make things happen.  she is very skilled and dogged at doing this - but she doesn't enjoy being the @#!* known as that 'carpenter wife'.  and not to mention the trials and tribulations of dealing with the insurance company.  there is absolutely no way - i do not exaggerate - that i could be where i am today in rehab without the tons of intervention work she put in on top of everything else.

i have many more gratitudes to pay but i am worn out from too long of a blog already.  so i will pay more instalments latter.  bye for now.